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Perspective Equals Patience…and the rest of the story. Clarity #7

Alan Andersen

Serendipitously, I am in San Francisco where this week's Summer of Clarity writing took place originally. Because of the emotion it evokes for me, I have decided to include week #7 of Clarity in its entirety and give you “the rest of the story” progress report at the end on Baby Jonah who at the time was 3 months old.

The call to leadership is clear this week, yet for me sitting here listening to The City, it commands that I once again slow down. I love to learn via people's stories.Often just watching them from afar, they will tell their story with no words. The problem is when I assume my own story upon them failing to silence myself to both watch and listen. 

Perspective = Patience

(From the book Clarity - Week #7 Reflection)

Have you ever experienced yourself in the middle of a life lesson?

I did once in front of the UC San Francisco hospital. We were on a tight schedule, trying to navigate the mess of those tiny uphill streets and find parking. My three-month-old nephew, scheduled for a three-hour kidney surgery the next morning, was crying in his car seat. A car had stopped right in traffic lane of the parking garage, causing a huge backup.

I'm not a patient person.

But unexpectedly, I was in full awareness of a sense of patience as I looked out the window to see the cause of the backup. A boy emerged from the passenger side and opened the door for an elderly woman, perhaps his grandmother. I recognized the dialysis branding on the bag she was carrying, and I flashed to the days I spent with my dad during his dialysis treatments.

As their car moved on, I noticed that none of the drivers seemed upset. There was compassion and understanding in the air. I realized what was going on and immediately applied it to a life lesson.

When we have context, we have patience.

When we have information, we have understanding. When we have clarity and see pain, we have compassion. When we get inside people's world, we have perspective. When we have all of that, we have grace, because we are no longer judging and condemning from our own paradigm. In a moment, our paradigm has broadened and shifted.

When we enter into the other person's world, we stop demanding he or she fit into ours. We slow down enough to be grateful for our own good fortune and stop judging others for their assumed inadequacies.

A leader gets results through people.

People are wounded. We still need to get results. Results can be hindered because our people are wounded, and if we would deal with the wound or help them deal with it – we would get better, faster results.

Patience is not a natural gift of a leader, it is a learned one. The more that you broaden your awareness, understanding, and compassion, the better results you will get out of your people. (It's called emotional intelligence, specifically empathy, by the way.)

Be patient. You'll get your results.

Now for “Your Weekly Response” based on this reading:

What is your leadership intention this week?

How you will benefit from this shift?

What might hinder your success?

What action must you take in response?

The Rest of The Story…

Jonah just celebrated his 2nd birthday with brother Jackson turning 4 a few weeks later.  We experienced a miracle that day as he showed enough healing to not have surgery and was able to give himself a few more months to get stronger and bigger before going under the knife.  He is doing well, although still suffers from complications all over his little body.  He is uber smart and keeps us all smiling with his contagious smiles and curly hair.

He is a reminder that everyone fights a battle.  You just don't know for sure what the other person is warring against and thus again the need for patience, listening, and compassion.

Lead well today, my friends, for people are watching you and silently hearing your story.

Name one situation where you can practice patience today and share below.

Your Coach For Clarity!

This article previously appeared at True Life Coaching

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