Givers VS. Takers – Who Are You? Clarity #38
Alan Andersen
In order to be an effective giver, you must first be a good listener. This type of listening includes asking questions and being curious about the other person’s thoughts, needs, and desires. Week 38 of Clarity focuses on the difference between cialis soft tabs givers and takers. We talk about this all the time in our world of coaching here at True Life, Inc. Coach Mary Beth King introduces our very own Jenny Bookamer while Shandel is out of town – enjoy!!
Jenny’s blog invites us to consider whether we tend to give or to take in our relationships. She points us to the clearest indication of our tendency: how do we listen? Do we listen and respond from thinking, “it’s all about ME”? I need you to let me be in charge. I need you to know that I am brilliant. I need to feel like I’m helping you. Or, do we listen and respond from thinking, “it’s all about YOU”? How are you? What do you truly need? How can I help? Notice whether you are listening to have your needs met or serve others, and you will clearly see whether you tend to be a giver or a taker! ~ Mary Beth King, PCC
Here’s Jenny… In order to be an effective giver, you must first be a good listener. This type of listening includes asking questions and being curious about the other person’s thoughts, needs, and desires. Week 38 of Clarity focuses on the difference between givers and takers. We talk about this all the time in our world of coaching here at True Life, Inc. In re-visiting this chapter it reminded me of another part of my world where I am a childbirth educator in the Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth and a birth doula (a doula is a nonmedical person who assists a woman before, during, or after childbirth, as well as her partner and/or family, by providing physical assistance, and emotional support).
In this part of my world, an aspect of my role is to teach the support person to be tuned in to laboring woman. Support people may think they have a good idea of what is needed, but until they truly listen to women as they work through the process of labor and birth, they only have part of the equation. As a doula I once made the mistake of gently insisting the laboring mom try a certain position because I THOUGHT she was tired. She told me she wasn’t, and yet I persisted. With her next contraction it became very obvious that I was way off base. That was a big moment of understanding for me about the importance of listening in order to give effectively. What would happen if we intentionally listened and asked good, open-ended questions to gain insight into a person’s thoughts and heart? How would that change the way we give to others? I suggest that it would allow us to give to others in ways that would affect them in profound ways. It would make the process of giving more about the receiver, than the giver. We all have something to contribute in our sphere of influence. Start being an intentional listener and an effective giver and see what a difference YOU can make!
- Jenny Bookamer
This article previously appeared at True Life Coaching, a subsidiary of Shandel Group. If you enjoyed this post, read Shandel's book, Clarity: Focusing on What Matters.