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Filtering by Tag: family

Never Waste A Moment

Alan Andersen

I have had the joy of being in my Reno home for 30 days straight!  Longest stretch of sleeping in my own bed in five years. As most of you know, I split my time between Seattle and Reno, add to that the travel to speak and facilitate retreats, I'm not “home” much. Some people call me crazy but I call it intentional.

You see, I grew up in Quincy, CA and Reno, NV is the closest city to my hometown.  My entire family (maternal) lives within this 72 miles radius…seriously from my 2 year old niece to my 106 year old grandfather. Until 5 years ago, I had a full life and thriving business in Seattle, thus the only renegade who lived outside the circle.

That Was Until….

When my niece Kylie was born I knew I had to be a part of her life. Since then I have five nieces and nephews to love on.

What looks crazy to most has been nothing but sheer delight to my soul. It has taught me great lessons about the time, sacrifice, and cost to live an intentional life.  I have learned to never, ever, waste a moment – they are all precious!

Never Waste A Moment

The gift I have is perspective.  When I am home and with the girls (Kylie's sister Taylor is now two) every moment is sacred to me, because I am leaving again soon.  They change so quickly and time goes so fast that if I don't soak up and treasure all the moments they will be gone forever. 

Last Sunday, I started a fun tradition taking Kylie to the Nutcracker complete with a chocolate milk shake and a trip to the dollar store. My purpose is to build a strong relationship with her full of love, memories, and trust so that when she is older I can speak truth and wisdom into her life. If I want to be heard when she is 13, I need to listen and invest when she is five. The same goes for my employees and teammates.  If I want them to listen to me and produce results, I need to hear what they are saying, invest in their development and care about their personal life.

What About You?

Who needs you to invest in them?  Who needs you to stop multi-tasking and hear what they are not saying?  What sacrifice can you make today that will pay dividends ten years down the road? 

Being intentional about others and living with perspective will bring you more joy than you could ever imagine.  It is truly higher living.  Listening and paying attention is how we earn the right to be heard. 

Never let a moment go by without it being meaningful and purposeful – especially during this season.

The Nutcracker meant way more to me than it did to her but isn't that the way giving goes?

What are you most excited to give away this season?

Your Coach For Clarity,

This article Never Waste a Moment originally appeared at True Life Coaching

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Perspective Equals Patience…and the rest of the story. Clarity #7

Alan Andersen

Serendipitously, I am in San Francisco where this week's Summer of Clarity writing took place originally. Because of the emotion it evokes for me, I have decided to include week #7 of Clarity in its entirety and give you “the rest of the story” progress report at the end on Baby Jonah who at the time was 3 months old.

The call to leadership is clear this week, yet for me sitting here listening to The City, it commands that I once again slow down. I love to learn via people's stories.Often just watching them from afar, they will tell their story with no words. The problem is when I assume my own story upon them failing to silence myself to both watch and listen. 

Perspective = Patience

(From the book Clarity - Week #7 Reflection)

Have you ever experienced yourself in the middle of a life lesson?

I did once in front of the UC San Francisco hospital. We were on a tight schedule, trying to navigate the mess of those tiny uphill streets and find parking. My three-month-old nephew, scheduled for a three-hour kidney surgery the next morning, was crying in his car seat. A car had stopped right in traffic lane of the parking garage, causing a huge backup.

I'm not a patient person.

But unexpectedly, I was in full awareness of a sense of patience as I looked out the window to see the cause of the backup. A boy emerged from the passenger side and opened the door for an elderly woman, perhaps his grandmother. I recognized the dialysis branding on the bag she was carrying, and I flashed to the days I spent with my dad during his dialysis treatments.

As their car moved on, I noticed that none of the drivers seemed upset. There was compassion and understanding in the air. I realized what was going on and immediately applied it to a life lesson.

When we have context, we have patience.

When we have information, we have understanding. When we have clarity and see pain, we have compassion. When we get inside people's world, we have perspective. When we have all of that, we have grace, because we are no longer judging and condemning from our own paradigm. In a moment, our paradigm has broadened and shifted.

When we enter into the other person's world, we stop demanding he or she fit into ours. We slow down enough to be grateful for our own good fortune and stop judging others for their assumed inadequacies.

A leader gets results through people.

People are wounded. We still need to get results. Results can be hindered because our people are wounded, and if we would deal with the wound or help them deal with it – we would get better, faster results.

Patience is not a natural gift of a leader, it is a learned one. The more that you broaden your awareness, understanding, and compassion, the better results you will get out of your people. (It's called emotional intelligence, specifically empathy, by the way.)

Be patient. You'll get your results.

Now for “Your Weekly Response” based on this reading:

What is your leadership intention this week?

How you will benefit from this shift?

What might hinder your success?

What action must you take in response?

The Rest of The Story…

Jonah just celebrated his 2nd birthday with brother Jackson turning 4 a few weeks later.  We experienced a miracle that day as he showed enough healing to not have surgery and was able to give himself a few more months to get stronger and bigger before going under the knife.  He is doing well, although still suffers from complications all over his little body.  He is uber smart and keeps us all smiling with his contagious smiles and curly hair.

He is a reminder that everyone fights a battle.  You just don't know for sure what the other person is warring against and thus again the need for patience, listening, and compassion.

Lead well today, my friends, for people are watching you and silently hearing your story.

Name one situation where you can practice patience today and share below.

Your Coach For Clarity!

This article previously appeared at True Life Coaching

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