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ARE YOU A WONDERFUL FREAK? I AM...

Allan Anderson • May 20, 2020

3-Minute Read


LOVE OR FEAR

There is evidence that the root of your emotion springs from love or fear. If I’m honest, I believe that there are very few scenarios where a binary choice is helpful. The idea that you have to choose between black or white, this or that, and even either-or choices are actually few and far between. Yet, the more I observe my own thoughts and actions, the more the notion that all my emotion is tied to the wellspring of either “love or fear”.

I first learned of this idea more than a decade ago, but I recently read this article by Nancy Colier in Psychology Today magazine. She is a psychotherapist in NYC amongst other things and puts this concept this way,

Many believe that there are only two primal emotions in the human being, love and fear, and that we cannot feel both at once. And, that in the same way that light removes darkness, love can remove fear.

FEAR-LESS FREAK

Now you may be wondering, how in the world does the title even remotely correspond to “Love and Fear”?  That is a worthy question. And while I rarely share about some of the unique opportunities I experience or name drop people that I get the privilege of interacting with, I am going to break that rule in this instance.



I recently had the opportunity to speak with a true freak. In fact, we might say “King Freak”! In what was supposed to be a twenty-minute call with Dr. Dave Rendall turned out to be nearly an hour. In this discussion, I got to learn from a person who grew up being told to conform to the norm yet never quite “fit in” and not just because he quite literally outgrew all of his hand-me-downs before even receiving them!

Dr. Rendall, who stands at six foot six (or six foot nine in heels) as he put it in the first of at least three or four different TED talks, gave a TREMENDOUSLY helpful reframe in how to view yourself, the unique elements that comprise who you are, and even how you add value. The idea here is not to necessarily be fearless but rather learning to fear less and act more!


A LOVING FREAK

The top takeaway that I am hopeful you will walk away with is this. When we believe that every single human is equal in dignity, value, and worth, and is simply different in form and function we then can begin a process of living from a place of love.  Admittedly, viewing everyone with equity and equality can be tough but it is not impossible. 


As you begin to exercise this muscle, we must be keenly aware of two factors.


  1. OBSERVE YOUR MOTIVES AND BEGIN TO NOTE WHAT YOU DO OUT OF FEAR VERSUS LOVE.
  2. STOP REGRETTING OR FIXING YOUR UNIQUE QUIRKS, LEAN INTO THEM!


Let us embrace who we are and begin to influence the people within our sphere of relationship to do the same.

You can be the model for health, living out of love not acting out of fear. IF you don’t know where to begin, here are 3 different starting points for you.


  1. WATCH THE TEDX LISTED ABOVE, AND THEN THIS ONE AND FINALLY THIS ONE.
  2. ORDER FREAK FACTOR AND READ IT IF THAT IS YOUR STRENGTH.
  3. OR, REACH OUT TO US. IN FACT, JUST EMAIL ME DIRECTLY ALAN@SHANDELGROUP.COM, BECAUSE WE EXIST TO HELP YOU FIND YOUR PURPOSE!


Pulling for you,


Alan Andersen

TAKE THE TIME TO INVEST IN YOURSELF BY INVESTING IN OTHERS

By Shandel Sutherland • 21 Apr, 2024
3-MINUTE READ As a leader, what are you missing that would help you achieve “the next level'? Chances are it is a person. Even more likely it is a person who is in the next room or down the hall from you at this very moment! Yet, we sit stressed and maxed out as they sit underutilized and bored. They desire meaning, mentoring and challenge, while we desire initiative and productivity. Still, both parties sit in their comfortable and familiar rut. This is a very poor utilization of assets and leaves huge profits on the table. THE ART OF INVESTING Think of your time as you would your money. A wise person thinks in a long-term manner about their money and how to spend and/or invest it for the greatest ROI (return on investment.) Consider the focus, time, and energy you devote to making, saving, and investing money for a specifically defined purpose. Now, that is exactly how you need to approach the time you invest in the people in your sphere of influence; and it is an art. A skill that must be learned and then uniquely applied according to each individual who can share in accomplishing the goal. STEPS ON INVESTING IN OTHERS 1. You must have clarity about what you are trying to accomplish. What outcomes you want to focus on and why does it matter? Is the vision compelling enough to get others involved and want to share in the ownership? 2. Focus on the few things only you and you alone can do. What are the unique strengths that you bring to the vision that no one else possesses on the team? What are the other things or tasks you are currently doing (and yes, we know you can do them well) but others could do just as good if not better? Make a list and identify the ones that steal the most time. 3. Find people that have the strengths and abilities to do the tasks you have identified. Before you approach them, work through all the fears you have about delegating, letting go, and giving up control. You may need your coach for this portion. 4. Connect with the person you would like to delegate your tasks to and make sure you have plenty of time to talk it out and get buy-in. Share your vision and your goal of investing in the person's professional and personal growth by passing on these specific tasks. Press for push back, find all the holes together, make sure you have healthy conflict to vet out all their fears and share your concerns as well. 5. Train the person on how you currently do the task. A: Show/tell them how to do it. B: Do it with them. C: Observe them as they do it for you. D: Coach them as they do it without you. E: Trust them as they do it alone. F: Check in often and create space for continuous improvement. You have just invested in one of your people and they are feeling empowered and trusted. Equally as important, you have just opened up a huge amount of time to operate in your strength and talent which you alone do best. It is now time to do it again and again until you are only operating in your strengths! What do you think about investing in yourself by investing in others? Your Coach,  Shandel Sutherland

HOW'S YOUR TEAMWORK?

By Shandel Sutherland • 21 Apr, 2024
3-MINUTE READ Teamwork is a method that aligns employee mindsets in a cooperative and usually selfless manner towards a specific business purpose. Today there is no business or organization that doesn’t talk about the need for and value of teamwork in the workplace. Some things cannot be accomplished by people working individually. Larger, more ambitious goals usually require that people work together with others. Because of this, teamwork is a desired goal of many businesses and organizations today. People who have well developed teamwork skills easily form relationships with mutual respect among diverse types of people. They understand the strengths and weaknesses of others and place a high priority on the success of their department and/or organization. People with strong skills in teamwork support team decisions and share responsibility with team members for successes and failures. How do you develop your own skills in Teamwork? • Show respect for all other people and display sincere interest in them as individuals. • Work on improving or enhancing your communication skills. • Give positive feedback as often as possible. • If you have a difficult relationship with someone, work to improve it through self-awareness and respect for differences. • Be enthusiastic about your ideas but don’t be overbearing or domineering when you express them. Try not to interrupt other people and listen to their ideas carefully before you disagree. • Discuss your ideas with your teammates until you agree. • Be willing to step back from a disagreement and cooperate. • Teach yourself not to be defensive. Think of negative feedback as opportunities for improvement, not personal affronts. • Be tolerant of others. Recognize that others’ viewpoints are as important to them as yours are to you! Self-observation Ask someone you trust to help you identify times when you come across as overbearing, domineering or intolerant of others. Keep a log of your behavior over the next month or so. Then, try to answer the following questions as you look at your notes: • Are there patterns to your actions? What are they? • Do you interrupt often in meetings or conversations? Do you interrupt certain people more often than others? • Are you particularly sensitive or domineering on certain topics or with certain people? • How does your behavior make those people feel and/or react? If you discover you would like to build your teamwork skills or the skills of your team, we would be glad to be part of the process. Your Coach,  Shandel
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