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Wherever you go, there you are! How to stop the insanity cycle Clarity #13

Alan Andersen

On Monday, I shared a fun video by Bob Newhart on Behavior Modification.  He uses only 2 words and it makes me laugh every time I see it. It dovetailed nicely with the theme of the week.

Challenge #13 of the weekly adventure through Clarity: Focusing on What Matters gets in your face about the same issue. As we continue to grow your personal and professional leadership, you will find tips on how to face persistent issues and get different results.

Free Chapter Preview

I decided to give you a taste of what a weekly chapter looks like in Clarity by posting it in its entirety below. You are invited to join us here each week for your Clarity Challenge. If you don't have this leadership and personal development book yet, simply download the book on Kindle or buy today to get it in time for next week!

Would love to hear how the Clarity journey and challenges are helping you below. Enjoy Week #13 of Clarity and see you here next week for #14.


“Sis, you'll keep gettin' whatch'r gettin' if you keep doin' whatch'r doin'”.

That was my dad quoting Albert Einstein at me when I was an eight-year-old. I looked at him like, what are you talking about!? I soon got the point: I had better change my attitude or discipline was on the way!

Now that I'm an adult, lessons and discipline look different. But the same principle applies: Actions breed consequences. And attitude breeds actions.

Are you struggling with your doin' and gettin'? The fact is, disappointment, frustration, and stress will continue if you don't do something different. What behavior are you clinging to that is not working?

Perhaps it's control. Or to be politically correct, we'll call it delegating.

The problem with delegating is that it camouflages itself behind a good image. Think of a super busy CEO, a super-organized mom, or a rapid-growth entrepreneur. Each is getting a need met by staying in control while not letting go (i.e., by not asking for help which conveys vulnerability).

The Insanity Cycle

However, with so much pressure on them, they don't realize they've snapped emotionally, or are becoming resentful (either passively or aggressively). So they keep over-working, over-serving, over-dictating, which leads to exhaustion, and living from a triggered state of survival. And that results in addictions, isolation, bitterness, and burn-out, which leads to the reinforced need to control. Can you see the insanity cycle?

How about you? Do you find you have high turnover in your organization, or a poorly motivated team, and wonder what's wrong with these people? Maybe you keep thinking, if you hire a new manager, things will be better. If you marry a new spouse, life will be better. If you had more money. If you get a new job. If you move.

Wherever you go, there you are.

I have liberating news for you. Wherever you go, there you are.

The common denominator to all your problems is you. And the secret to your success and happiness is not “out there”, it's you.

Nothing around you needs to change to make you happy and fulfilled. You need the power and desire to make new choices. You can do something different and get different results, but you must want to change your attitude, your story, and your belief systems for that is what drives your behavior, Einstein!

What could be different today if you made one small change?

Your Coach For Clarity,

This article originally appeared at True Life Coaching

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