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SILENCE: GOLDEN OR DESTRUCTIVE?

Shandel Sutherland • Apr 21, 2024

3-MINUTE READ


You may not realize it, but the problems you are facing right now at work or at home may very well be traced to silence. YES! Silence is deadly. In Week 34 of my book Clarity we discuss the potential results of silence and how it affects relationships and work environments. For those who have not yet read the book Clarity: Focusing on What Matters here is the entire weekly read for you to preview and enjoy.


SILENCE ISN’T GOLDEN, IT IS DESTRUCTIVE


We may live in an era of email and smartphones and wireless networks. Yet in virtually every employee survey, communication tops the “needs improvement” list.


Problems in communication can mean inaccurate information or insensitive comments. But a huge chunk of it fits in the negative category of not communicating information. The lack of communication.


We have a client whose vice president has gone silent. The man is taking days to reply to e-mail messages and voicemails, is forgetting to include subject-matter experts in strategic meetings, and is not making crucial decisions.


Our client hesitates to directly ask the VP, who in the past has shot down such questions. So the client finds himself filling in the blanks. He’s questioning his own worth. Am I the problem? Should I start looking for another VP? And he’s not the only one affected. The whole team’s efficiency has halted, deadlines are being missed, morale is plummeting, rumors are flying — all because we have a VP who is unresponsive and “too busy” to deal with the team.


WHEN SILENT, PEOPLE FILL IN THE BLANKS


People don’t like “dead air.” You’ve seen it in conversation: people inevitably fill a too-long silence with a comment or question. It’s the same in work and personal relationships, only on a larger scale. People can’t help “filling in the blanks” caused by a lack of communication and leadership. They speculate as to why the silence in so deafening. And soon the damage is done.


The truth is, trying not to cause problems by not doing any harm is not being a good leader. It’s abdication. Not saying anything in fear you’ll of saying the wrong thing is not only good communication. It’s cowardice. If you’re not leading, you are following. There are no extra credit points for not doing anything wrong, especially if you haven’t done anything at all.


So take note: You need to use your words! Communicate or pay the price. To the listener, silence communicates a lack of care, concern, and value. To the one being silent, you can’t hide, you must face your fear of doing something wrong — and do something right.


Your Coach,


Shandel

TAKE THE TIME TO INVEST IN YOURSELF BY INVESTING IN OTHERS

By Shandel Sutherland • 21 Apr, 2024
3-MINUTE READ As a leader, what are you missing that would help you achieve “the next level'? Chances are it is a person. Even more likely it is a person who is in the next room or down the hall from you at this very moment! Yet, we sit stressed and maxed out as they sit underutilized and bored. They desire meaning, mentoring and challenge, while we desire initiative and productivity. Still, both parties sit in their comfortable and familiar rut. This is a very poor utilization of assets and leaves huge profits on the table. THE ART OF INVESTING Think of your time as you would your money. A wise person thinks in a long-term manner about their money and how to spend and/or invest it for the greatest ROI (return on investment.) Consider the focus, time, and energy you devote to making, saving, and investing money for a specifically defined purpose. Now, that is exactly how you need to approach the time you invest in the people in your sphere of influence; and it is an art. A skill that must be learned and then uniquely applied according to each individual who can share in accomplishing the goal. STEPS ON INVESTING IN OTHERS 1. You must have clarity about what you are trying to accomplish. What outcomes you want to focus on and why does it matter? Is the vision compelling enough to get others involved and want to share in the ownership? 2. Focus on the few things only you and you alone can do. What are the unique strengths that you bring to the vision that no one else possesses on the team? What are the other things or tasks you are currently doing (and yes, we know you can do them well) but others could do just as good if not better? Make a list and identify the ones that steal the most time. 3. Find people that have the strengths and abilities to do the tasks you have identified. Before you approach them, work through all the fears you have about delegating, letting go, and giving up control. You may need your coach for this portion. 4. Connect with the person you would like to delegate your tasks to and make sure you have plenty of time to talk it out and get buy-in. Share your vision and your goal of investing in the person's professional and personal growth by passing on these specific tasks. Press for push back, find all the holes together, make sure you have healthy conflict to vet out all their fears and share your concerns as well. 5. Train the person on how you currently do the task. A: Show/tell them how to do it. B: Do it with them. C: Observe them as they do it for you. D: Coach them as they do it without you. E: Trust them as they do it alone. F: Check in often and create space for continuous improvement. You have just invested in one of your people and they are feeling empowered and trusted. Equally as important, you have just opened up a huge amount of time to operate in your strength and talent which you alone do best. It is now time to do it again and again until you are only operating in your strengths! What do you think about investing in yourself by investing in others? Your Coach,  Shandel Sutherland

HOW'S YOUR TEAMWORK?

By Shandel Sutherland • 21 Apr, 2024
3-MINUTE READ Teamwork is a method that aligns employee mindsets in a cooperative and usually selfless manner towards a specific business purpose. Today there is no business or organization that doesn’t talk about the need for and value of teamwork in the workplace. Some things cannot be accomplished by people working individually. Larger, more ambitious goals usually require that people work together with others. Because of this, teamwork is a desired goal of many businesses and organizations today. People who have well developed teamwork skills easily form relationships with mutual respect among diverse types of people. They understand the strengths and weaknesses of others and place a high priority on the success of their department and/or organization. People with strong skills in teamwork support team decisions and share responsibility with team members for successes and failures. How do you develop your own skills in Teamwork? • Show respect for all other people and display sincere interest in them as individuals. • Work on improving or enhancing your communication skills. • Give positive feedback as often as possible. • If you have a difficult relationship with someone, work to improve it through self-awareness and respect for differences. • Be enthusiastic about your ideas but don’t be overbearing or domineering when you express them. Try not to interrupt other people and listen to their ideas carefully before you disagree. • Discuss your ideas with your teammates until you agree. • Be willing to step back from a disagreement and cooperate. • Teach yourself not to be defensive. Think of negative feedback as opportunities for improvement, not personal affronts. • Be tolerant of others. Recognize that others’ viewpoints are as important to them as yours are to you! Self-observation Ask someone you trust to help you identify times when you come across as overbearing, domineering or intolerant of others. Keep a log of your behavior over the next month or so. Then, try to answer the following questions as you look at your notes: • Are there patterns to your actions? What are they? • Do you interrupt often in meetings or conversations? Do you interrupt certain people more often than others? • Are you particularly sensitive or domineering on certain topics or with certain people? • How does your behavior make those people feel and/or react? If you discover you would like to build your teamwork skills or the skills of your team, we would be glad to be part of the process. Your Coach,  Shandel
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