SILENCE: GOLDEN OR DESTRUCTIVE?

Shandel Sutherland • April 21, 2024

3-MINUTE READ


You may not realize it, but the problems you are facing right now at work or at home may very well be traced to silence. YES! Silence is deadly. In Week 34 of my book Clarity we discuss the potential results of silence and how it affects relationships and work environments. For those who have not yet read the book Clarity: Focusing on What Matters here is the entire weekly read for you to preview and enjoy.


SILENCE ISN’T GOLDEN, IT IS DESTRUCTIVE


We may live in an era of email and smartphones and wireless networks. Yet in virtually every employee survey, communication tops the “needs improvement” list.


Problems in communication can mean inaccurate information or insensitive comments. But a huge chunk of it fits in the negative category of not communicating information. The lack of communication.


We have a client whose vice president has gone silent. The man is taking days to reply to e-mail messages and voicemails, is forgetting to include subject-matter experts in strategic meetings, and is not making crucial decisions.


Our client hesitates to directly ask the VP, who in the past has shot down such questions. So the client finds himself filling in the blanks. He’s questioning his own worth. Am I the problem? Should I start looking for another VP? And he’s not the only one affected. The whole team’s efficiency has halted, deadlines are being missed, morale is plummeting, rumors are flying — all because we have a VP who is unresponsive and “too busy” to deal with the team.


WHEN SILENT, PEOPLE FILL IN THE BLANKS


People don’t like “dead air.” You’ve seen it in conversation: people inevitably fill a too-long silence with a comment or question. It’s the same in work and personal relationships, only on a larger scale. People can’t help “filling in the blanks” caused by a lack of communication and leadership. They speculate as to why the silence in so deafening. And soon the damage is done.


The truth is, trying not to cause problems by not doing any harm is not being a good leader. It’s abdication. Not saying anything in fear you’ll of saying the wrong thing is not only good communication. It’s cowardice. If you’re not leading, you are following. There are no extra credit points for not doing anything wrong, especially if you haven’t done anything at all.


So take note: You need to use your words! Communicate or pay the price. To the listener, silence communicates a lack of care, concern, and value. To the one being silent, you can’t hide, you must face your fear of doing something wrong — and do something right.


Your Coach,


Shandel

Breaking the Cycle of Misery: A Leadership Journey

By Shandel Sutherland • November 24, 2024
Introduction Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle of stress, frustration, and burnout? As leaders, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind and lose sight of what truly matters. In this blog post, we'll explore the concept of the "cycle of misery" and how to break free from it. Understanding the Cycle of Misery The cycle of misery is a common trap that many leaders fall into. It's characterized by a negative mindset, a focus on problems, and a tendency to blame others. When we're in this cycle, we become our own worst enemies, constantly worrying and stressing over things that are outside of our control. Key Signs of the Cycle of Misery: Fear and Insecurity: Feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. Anger and Frustration: Blaming others for problems and taking things personally. Lack of Confidence: Doubting your abilities and questioning your decisions. Isolation: Withdrawing from others and avoiding social interaction. Negativity: Focusing on the negative aspects of situations and people. Breaking Free from the Cycle To break free from the cycle of misery, we must focus on the following: Self-Awareness: Recognize the signs of the cycle and be honest with yourself about your current state. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and reduce stress. Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Seek Support: Talk to a mentor, coach, or therapist to gain perspective and guidance. Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on problems, focus on finding solutions. Connect with Others: Build strong relationships with colleagues, friends, and family. The Healthy Cycle of Growth In contrast to the cycle of misery, the healthy cycle of growth is characterized by positivity, resilience, and a focus on solutions. By cultivating a growth mindset and practicing self-care, we can break free from the cycle of misery and achieve our full potential. Conclusion Remember, it's okay to experience challenges and setbacks. The key is to recognize when we're slipping into the cycle of misery and take proactive steps to break free. By focusing on our values, practicing self-care, and connecting with others, we can create a more fulfilling and rewarding life.

Lead with Authenticity

By Jake Hinton • October 7, 2024
Embark on a transformative leadership journey where authenticity meets growth. This article delves into the pathways taken by a CEO to foster authentic leadership, emphasizing the shift from comfort zones to growth areas. Explore how resilience, accountability, and value alignment pave the way for effective leadership. By understanding oneself and embracing challenges, leaders can inspire their teams and nurture organizational success. Join us in uncovering the ripple effect of personal growth and its impact on building strong, authentic relationships.
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